Pen To Web: Digitalizing My Journal - Entry 1

 Dated : 7 Dec 2017

'Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.'
1 Timothy 4:12-16

https://www.bible.com/bible/59/1TI.4.12-16

"When I read the above passage, it was so "loud" to me as if it is especially written for me on that day. It was the weirdest experience. I knew God is preparing me for something that day. True enough, my neighbour who I had burden for, came to my house around 10.30am and had a very long chat (3 hours). I tried to exhort her but she was resistant as she strongly believes in her pastor's teaching. At the end of the day, I realised that I was not ready to do what I have passion to do. In ODB, the writer wrote that to teach others, we have to be deeply rooted in God. That become so true to me that day. I have to remain humble all the time and sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I realised that even though I have learnt and grown so much, I am still a baby in my spiritual maturity. I still have much to learn and I am so excited to see God's works and miracles in the days to come. I have experienced so much of God at my spiritual maturity level, imagine what I will experience when I am matured!

My passion: Exhort Christians to have personal relationship with God and to desire to do God's works.

My Gifts : 1. God at times reveal to me, the spiritual state of a person and what is going to happen in the future with that person. (But I am still trying to discover whether this is something that God wants me to pursue).

                    2. Faith in the Lord - I can easily encourage those who doubts about God.

                    3. Boldness : Beginning to receive but still at level 1 out of 10.

Verse 14 : Never forget the gifts that I have received. Use it. practice it (to make it "stronger")

Judy said that she envisioned me to do great works. Is that some sort of prophecy? I should work hard towards that goal. And wholly commit to Brighton. There! That is God's answer on whether I should stay in Brighton. V16, the minister of Christ must keep his attention fixed on his own demeanour and conduct. At the same time give equally careful heed to the quality and character of his teaching (Ellicott's Commentary). The teaching must be faithful in doctrine and we must exemplify it in word and deed. Without true and efficient teaching, the pure and upright life of the Christian leader will fail to win souls and on to the other hand, the most efficient instructions will be of no avail unless the life corresponds to the words publicly uttered. 

An effective leader = faithful + true teaching + upright life"

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Today's Comment:

I can read from my own writing that my passion for God was so fiery back then. I have mellowed down a lot, but am still loving God. I have grown a lot since then. One part I notice from the journal is that I wanted to "work hard and commit to Brighton". Now I have learnt that working hard will get me burnt out and committing to a church is the wrong way to go. Now I learnt to follow God's will and keep reminding myself that it is not my strength, but I rely on God's strength. And I commit myself to God's calling for me, does not matter where I am. I am blessed and thankful that as of today, I am still in Brighton Community Church.