I don't want to be excited for Heaven

 I don't want to look forward to Jesus's Second Coming so that I can finally enter the New Heaven and Earth. I think if I have that mindset, I have missed the point of becoming a Christian. 

Today as I was praying, I told God that I want to be excited for Heaven because I can finally be with God and be with Jesus! Not because I can stay in Heaven. I want to be excited because I can be in God's presence for eternity.

But.. then I think.. what does it mean and what does it look like, living with God literally and physically? And how is it different from now? Yes God is not physically with us, but God is with us, God will help us when we need Him, God answer our prayers, God do miraculous things on earth, God speaks to us. Other than being physically with Him, what are we looking forward to, in Heaven?

I don't have the answer to that. That is why I cannot get myself excited to go to Heaven to be with God. Because I am with Him now. But I want to be excited for Heaven .. So, my prayer is that God will convict me or let me understand what is it that I should be looking forward to? 


Update!

This morning when I woke up, suddenly I received an understanding! I look forward to the Second Coming, or to my passing, simply because I will be reunited with my "soulmate"! When you have a personal connection with someone, it is only natural to look forward to meeting with that person face to face. And God and Jesus is not someone we do not know. He is someone that we are close with. Someone who died for us. So it does not matter if being in God's presence there will be no more pain, no more tear, no more sickness. What matters is that we will be reunited with Him! We will finally be with our Father! Today, it is the first time that I look forward to Heaven, not because it is beautiful there, or there will be a reward there, but because I will be reunited with the One who died for me, whom I want to meet physically. 

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